Best of Dr Watsa: Female problems

Bengaluru’s most popular sexpert passed away on December 28, 2020 at 96. In remembrance of the man who made sex talk possible in India, here are some of his best answers:


* I am 26 years old. The last time my partner and I had sex, he said there is a lot of heat inside my vagina. He felt a burning sensation inside it. What is the cause?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
It is possible the extra friction was due to a lack of lubrication, in which case apply your saliva or Lubic gel. It could also be that he is feeling the heat of his penis due to strong stroking.

* My girlfriend experiences pain during intercourse, so I recently bought a tube of Lox 2% jelly as Xylocaine 2% wasn’t available. It’s a 30 gm tube. How much should I apply? Can I apply it on my penis? Will it cause any harm when used with lubricated latex condoms?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Use of LOX will not damage the condom. She should apply a little inside the vagina and around it. Let it remain for 15 minutes and then wipe off the excess. This should make her free from pain.

* What kind of problems can crop up during or after sex if someone has the uterus removed?

Dr Mahinder Watsa
Different women experience different symptoms depending on their sexual behaviour and type of surgery. Some women may have a greater desire for sex and others may experience dryness, pain or depression. Consult your gynecologist with your symptoms.

* I am a 44-year-old married woman. My sex life with my husband, who is 48, has been unsatisfactory lately. We barely have sex once a month. So, I purchased a vibrator to pleasure myself. My husband discovered it accidentally and is deeply uncomfortable with it. He blames me for not making enough effort to make our sex life pleasurable, but he won’t work on it himself. I’m sick of his tantrums. What should I do?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
You both have to communicate to each other on how you can better your sex life and what you expect from each other. Work on the intimacy you share by being caring, affectionate, and loving. Tell your husband why you think your sex life has been unsatisfactory of late. Talking about your wants and desires and fulfilling each other’s needs will lead to a more satisfying sexual experience.

* I am a 38-year-old woman. I am single, but I want to have sex all the time, and I mean all the time. I have had boyfriends in the past, but sooner or later they get tired out. When I say I like to have sex all the time, I am not inconsiderate. I like to ensure that my partner is having a good time, too. Still, no matter what I do, after a point, they just can’t keep up, and I end up finding someone else. This is why I cannot be in a long-term relationship. What can be done about this?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Please visit a sex therapist or counsellor.

* I am 18 years old. My chest size is close to 36 inches. However, I have noticed that my right breast is bigger than my left. Is this normal? Will it affect my future sex life or menstrual cycle? It is natural for some women to have one breast slightly bigger than the other and it is not likely to affect your menstruation unless there is a serious underlying medical condition.

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Keep a watch for any changes in shape, texture or dimpling of the skin and changes in the nipple. Hormonal changes, puberty or trauma can sometimes have an effect on changes in size. If you see major changes, or if it is painful, it would be best to have a breast examination done.

* I am a 48-year-old woman. I have recently hit menopause. I am single, but looking to meet men. However, I haven’t had sexual activity in three years. And I don’t know what it will be like for me, now with this menopause. What should I expect? And how can I look after my sexual health during this time of transition?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
As long as you have the desire in you and you get aroused there is no reason why you should not be able to enjoy a good sex. Get a check-up and tests done regularly as this is important after a certain age. Sometimes vaginal dryness is experienced in menopausal women, which can be taken care of with a good lubricant.

* I am 39 years old and my husband is 43. We have been married for six years. While I have been satisfying him sexually in every possible way, he hasn’t been doing the same for me. I have had conversations with him but he doesn’t seem to be bothered about my desires. I’m now highly frustrated trying to pleasure myself with toys and masturbation. I have even considered having a sexual relationship with my friends who are in a similar situation with their wives. I have been reluctant to do so for moral reasons, but now I am really frustrated. What should I do?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
You are in a difficult situation and you may have to work hard by communicating your feelings to him in a way in which he will understand your needs. A couple’s counselling session may be helpful. Regarding sexual relationships with friends and your concern about moral guilt, you are the best judge to decide what is important to you but in my opinion, that might ruin a perfectly good friendship.

* I am a 37-year-old woman. For years, I have had a peculiar problem. I always feel like crying after having sex. Recently, I shared this with my friend and she said it could be linked to a deep-rooted childhood issue and that I should get to the bottom of it and address it immediately. Is this true?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
It is known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD), where a range of emotions can leave you overwhelmed. In some cases, it may happen due to a major hurdle in childhood that can affect physical and emotional health. A psychologist can help you get to the root of the problem.

* I bleed every time I have intercourse. I have undergone treatment for this but it hasn’t helped. I have been married for a year and want to conceive. Can this affect my chances of pregnancy? What should I do?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
With such little information, it is difficult to give you any advice. Unfortunately, it seems that the previous treatment hasn’t been successful. Please visit a gynaecologist. He/she will be able to guide you better regarding conception after a thorough examination.


* I’m a 25-year-old married woman, and I am trying to have a baby. My husband applies coconut oil on his penis before penetration. Is coconut oil a safe and sperm-friendly lubricant? Are there any other natural lubricants available in the market.

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
The oil should not be used as it destroys sperms. He could use your or his saliva. He could also buy a KY gel or similar product from the chemist for the purpose.


* What kind of problems can crop up during or after sex if someone has the uterus removed?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Different women experience different symptoms depending on their sexual behaviour and type of surgery. Some women may have a greater desire for sex and others may experience dryness, pain or depression. Consult your gynecologist with your symptoms.


* My girlfriend and I recently had sex. We were not naked though I touched her vagina. She hasn’t got her period yet, so can she be pregnant?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
She should see a gynaecologist and also purchase a pregnancy test kit from the chemist. She must take the test at the earliest before she can decide on a future course of action.

* I am a 36-year-old married woman. My husband and I have been planning a baby for a year but in vain. I don’t know how to convince my husband to get tested to check if his sperm count is ideal or not. I have visited a gynaecologist who has confirmed that my eggs are intact and that I am capable of giving birth to a child. What should I do?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Get your husband to accompany you on your next visit to the gynaecologist. Have the gynaecologist explain to your husband how you should plan for a healthy baby and a smooth pregnancy.

* I am a 28-year-old single mother of a daughter. A year ago, I got divorced from my husband. I am trying to settle with another man. Can I get pregnant again?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Why not? You are very young. Assuming that you are in good health it should not be difficult at all. Pay a visit to the gynecologist before you plan to conceive.

* I am a 32-year-old woman and I gave birth to a healthy baby girl five months ago. I feel horrible in general and have no interest in sex. I also have to urinate often and feel like my body has changed completely. How can I get my vagina and bladder back into shape?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Depression does occur for many patients after delivery for some time, which may lead to a loss of interest in sex. Kegel exercise (surf the internet to know more about them) will help you restore your vagina to normal. Visit your doctor with a report of your urine test and increase the intake of fluids.

* I am a 20-year-old woman with an active sex life since I was a teenager. Now I am studying in a university along with a part-time job. In between my work and studies, I have been sleeping with my boss and professor, both married. I have missed my period and I think I might be pregnant but I don’t know who the father is. What is your advice if I am pregnant and how do I tell who the father is?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
You have acted immaturely despite your education, and your behaviour has been promiscuous, leading to the present confused situation. Your question at the moment is also immature and most inappropriate. What do you plan to do once you know who the father is? Visit a gynaecologist.

* I’ve been married for over two years and I had a miscarriage last year. It has been six months since, and we have been planning for a child again. Is there a gap that one should maintain after a miscarriage and before planning for a baby again? Do the risks related to pregnancy double after having a miscarriage? What are the precautions one can take?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Ideally, the gap would be the time required for your uterus to come back to its normal state. Your gynaecologist will be the best person to advise you after an examination about the precautions that you should be taking, based on your medical history.

* I am a 30-year-old man. I got married last year. My wife is 28 years old. My partner and I want to have children in the future. What should we do to plan for a healthy pregnancy when we are ready to get pregnant?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Nutrition, hygiene and other sexual aspects will have to be taken into consideration before planning a pregnancy. For example, if there are minor irregularities like vaginal discharge etc, these should be taken care of. On a regular visit to the gynaecologist, you will be advised about precautions (if any), are required of you and your wife.

* I am a 22-year-old woman. I had got my period on June 2, so was expecting my period by July 2, but I haven’t got it yet. My boyfriend and I had engaged in an intimate act of sex with no penetration, where only our genitals were in touch. Can this cause pregnancy? Does sex without penetration lead to pregnancy too?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
It is sometimes seen that when the penis discharges around the vagina, an accidental pregnancy is possible. It is always wise to use a condom at all times.

* I am 20 years old and have recently been intimate with my 22-yearold boyfriend. We did not have penetrative sex, and he ejaculated at a safe distance away from me. My period is late by about three days and even though I don’t have a very regular cycle, I’m worried that I might be pregnant. Is it possible?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
It seems unlikely but a test with a Urine Pregnancy kit from the chemist will help.


* I’m a 24 year old woman. Recently, I had multiple rounds of sex with my boyfriend. Though we used a condom, I think it may have slipped off or got torn during the act. I saw and felt semen around my genitals after the act. I took an emergency contraceptive pill the very next morning as a precautionary measure. When is the earliest that I can perform a UPT to check if I am pregnant?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
You can opt for the urine pregnancy test now, but also repeat it after a week.


* I’m a 25-year-old married woman, and I am trying to have a baby. My husband applies coconut oil on his penis before penetration. Is coconut oil a safe and sperm-friendly lubricant? Are there any other natural lubricants available in the market.


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
The oil should not be used as it destroys sperms. He could use your or his saliva. He could also buy a KY gel or similar product from the chemist for the purpose.

* I am a 26-year-old woman. What are the side effects of different birth control methods?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
All birth control methods are bound to have some side effects or the other. Select the method that suits you best. Pills and other medications come with instructions for use, their side effects, and so on, so please read them carefully. Condoms could be considered safe unless there is an accidental breakage.


* I am a 26-year-old, newly-wed. My husband and I have been together for two months now. But, to date, we have been unable to complete the act of sexual intercourse. This is because when he ejaculates, it’s very painful for me. Please tell us what we can do to remedy this? Is there a cream or gel that would bring relief?


Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Applying a gel will ease the pain of penetration. You should apply KY Jelly internally, about 15 minutes before indulging in foreplay — that would reduce your discomfort. Your local doctor should be able to help you and your husband understand more about interpersonal relationships. I would also recommend that you both consult a sexpert to increase your understanding of sexual matters.

* I am a 28-year-old man and I had sex for the first time with my girlfriend two weeks ago. It was good, but I realised that she is desperate for sex. The first time lasted for 20 or 25 minutes, and I ejaculated. It took another 45 minutes for me to get another erection, but I lost it within minutes. Will this be a persistent problem for me? I want to have a good sex life so should I take Viagra or something? Please recommend a pill for me because I am likely to meet my girlfriend again soon.

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
There is no need for you to take Viagra or any other tablet. Your description of first intercourse is quite satisfactory.


* I have heard about a procedure called CO2 laser vagina tightening which promises to tighten the vagina for women who need it. I wanted to know if there are any side effects of this procedure and how effective it would be. Also, if you can tell me approximately how much such a procedure would cost?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
Contact any major hospital where these procedures are done and they will inform you about the costs and side effects if any.

* I am an 18-year-old woman and have been dating someone for four years. I lost my virginity when I was 16. Now, whenever we have sex, my partner tells me that my vagina has become loose. He says that he doesn’t feel like he is having sex at all as a result of this. What should I do to tighten my vagina and why has it become the way it has?

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
There are many reasons why the vagina may lose its firmness. Start Kegel exercises twice a day (you can learn how to on the internet). Consult a gynaecologist. He or she may give you more information on how you can regain firmness.

* I have had a sexual relationship with my boyfriend for the last one year. Now, I am getting married to another person. I feel my vagina has been enlarged due to sex. Will my future husband find out that I’m not a virgin? I know some women are born with a split hymen.

Dr Mahinder Watsa:
There is no reason why your vagina has ‘loosened’. Please start daily Kegel exercises. Visit the Internet to learn. Yes, certain strenuous exercises and masturbation can split the hymen. He will find out if you tell him.

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