Let’s start with a quick simple explanation of what being gay is… and perhaps that will help answer your question.
In the most traditional sense, being gay is usually someone who is male and is romantically and sexually interested in other males. Although it could stretch to males who are romantically and sexually aroused to those who identify as a man. Gender and biological sex are distinct, but that’s a whole other chapter.
Some women who also are attracted to other women also define themselves as gay – rather than lesbian. Either is cool – if in doubt ask or have a conversation about what wording to use to make people feel comfortable.
How do I know if I’m gay, bisexual or pansexual?
Essentially, if you’re a guy and you fancy or are sexually aroused by another guy chances are you could be gay. But you could also be bisexual if you’re also attracted to someone of the opposite sex or even pansexual if you’re attracted or sexually aroused to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity.
Of course, being “gay” is just a label. Some people are fine with having that label attached to them or owning it for themselves while others find it uncomfortable.
Is being gay different to Men Who Have Sex With Men (MSM)?
Depends on your viewpoint really. Many gay men feel that there’s more to being gay than just sex or who they find themselves attracted to. MSM is often used in a medical setting to encapsulate men who don’t consider themselves gay but will have sex with other guys. Our sexpert, Jack Devon told us, “I think that being gay does go beyond the physical sex that you have or crave. I think it’s about who you feel you have a connection with, which gender you ultimately want to have relationships with and which gender or biological sex characteristics you feel most comfortable with”.
Is the gay brain different to a straight brain?
No one really quite knows, but Doctor Christian told us in an interview a few years back, “I think it’s very interesting. There will be subtle differences that may not be anatomically measurable, but certainly, we function and behave differently. Sexual orientation is a spectrum and all of us fit somewhere along that spectrum. I go to investigate at the Cornell University with the test of sexual orientation to see where I lie. Having your sexuality, something that you’ve always known, proven by a machine is incredibly satisfying, that you got it right, that you’ve been sleeping with the right people all this time.”
Is being gay wrong?
No, not at all. It’s perfectly natural and valid. Please don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.