A romantic orientation describes who someone wants to date or fall in love with. Someone who identifies as aromantic (often shortened to “aro”) experiences little or no romantic attraction toward others. In other words, aromantic people generally do not feel the pull to form romantic relationships. As one source explains, “aromanticism is an orientation in which someone does not experience romantic attraction” (them.us). This means an aromantic person typically feels no desire for the classic romantic “butterflies,” crushes, or long-term love partnerships that are common in society’s stories. Importantly, aromanticism is on a spectrum: different aromantic people have different experiences. Some may feel mild interest in romance in unusual situations, while others feel nothing at all. In fact, a recent qualitative study found that “to identify as aromantic involves a spectrum of experiences with romance” (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov), ranging from confusion to neutral indifference to outright repulsion. That study also notes that many aromantic people face stigma or misunderstanding precisely because society assumes everyone wants romance.

Romantic vs. Sexual Orientation

To understand aromanticism, it helps to remember that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not always the same. Romantic attraction is the feeling of wanting to form an emotional or love-focused relationship with someone (falling in love, having a crush, wanting romantic closeness). Sexual attraction is the feeling of wanting physical or sexual contact. For many people these go together, but they can be different. Some researchers even use models like the Split Attraction Model, which treats romantic and sexual attractions as separate dimensions. In practice this means you might be, say, biromantic (romantically attracted to more than one gender) but heterosexual (only sexually attracted to another gender), or aromantic (no romantic attraction) but still heterosexual, gay, bisexual, or asexual in terms of sexual attraction.

Put simply: if you identify as aromantic, you’re describing your romantic orientation — who (if anyone) you fall in love with — while your sexual orientation (straight, gay, asexual, etc.) describes who you find physically or sexually attractive. An aromantic person could still enjoy dating, sex, or physical intimacy; it’s just that they don’t feel a romantic pull in those interactions.

Aromantic vs. Asexual

A common confusion is between being aromantic and being asexual. These are not the same, because asexuality describes sexual orientation (no or little sexual attraction), whereas aromanticism describes romantic orientation. As one explainer puts it, aromanticism is often mistaken for asexuality, but “not all asexuals are aromantic, nor are all aromantics asexual.”. In fact, many aromantic people are not asexual at all: they might still experience sexual attraction and desire. Likewise, many asexual people (who feel little sexual attraction) still desire romantic relationships.

Research highlights this distinction. In a large survey of aromantic individuals, 90% said they did not see aromanticism as just a subset of asexuality. In other words, most aromantic people surveyed reject the idea that “aro” simply means “asexual.” Conversely, data from a survey of people on the asexual spectrum (the 2020 Ace Community Survey) found that about 41.5% of respondents also identified somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (acecommunitysurvey.org). This shows that while there is overlap (many asexual people are also aromantic), a majority of asexuals are not aromantic, and a majority of aromantics are not asexual.

Put another way: an aromantic person could be straight, gay, or any sexual orientation. They may enjoy sex or have a libido, but they simply do not crave romance. And an asexual person could be aromantic or alloromantic (wanting romance). It’s important to use both terms to describe attraction. This separation is why many LGBTQ+ resources treat romantic orientation (e.g. homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc.) separately from sexual orientation.

Signs You Might Be Aromantic

Every person’s experience is unique, but some common feelings or patterns can hint that someone is aromantic. (Not all will apply to every aromantic person, and having these feelings doesn’t prove you are aromantic — only you can decide your identity.) Consider these possible signs:

• No romantic crushes. You rarely or never find yourself “in love” or wanting a romantic relationship with someone. You don’t experience the classic crush or “butterflies in the stomach” when thinking about dating someone (mindbodygreen.com). It may be that movies or rom-coms just don’t give you the warm fuzzies everyone talks about.

• Feel complete without romance. You feel confident and happy without any partner, and you genuinely do not need a romantic partner to feel fulfilled or happy in life. The idea of a lifetime wedding, engagement ring, or romantic honeymoon doesn’t particularly appeal to you.

• Romance feels confusing or irrelevant. When friends discuss their crushes or plans for weddings and kids, you may empathize on a logical level but feel mentally detached. You might not “get” why everyone’s excited, and feel unsure what the fuss is about.

• Platonic love is your focus. You deeply value friendships and family bonds, and these relationships feel like your primary source of love and intimacy. You might feel just as much love (or more) for close friends as others feel for romantic partners, and that satisfies you.

• Sex without romance (if applicable). If you do experience sexual attraction, you may enjoy sexual or physical intimacy but without associating it with romance. In other words, you might like sex, but you wouldn’t naturally see it as leading to love or a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.

• Never rushed into dating. Looking back, you might notice that you didn’t crave dating in high school or never felt “left out” when peers dated. Perhaps you dated for friendship or convenience rather than real romantic interest, or you only pursued relationships under external pressure.

• Relief in a label. When you learned about aromanticism, you might have felt a sense of relief or recognition, thinking “This finally describes me.” Finding a word that matches your experience can be an aha! moment for many aromantic people.

If you identify with several of these points, you could be on the aromantic spectrum. However, these signs are only clues. People should feel free to use whatever labels fit them, and some aromantic people may not show all these patterns. The key thing is that you don’t have to feel “wrong” or broken for not being romantic in the typical way.

How Common Is Aromanticism?

Accurate numbers for how many people are aromantic are hard to come by, because few large population studies exist. One general estimate is that around 1% of people might identify as asexual or aromantic (rcsgd.sa.ucsb.edu). For example, a college resource summarizes that asexual and aromantic people together make up about 1% of the overall population, possibly rising to 4% among younger adults. This suggests aromantic people are a small minority, but it’s only a rough guess.

Specialized surveys paint a different picture because they sample within LGBTQ+ or ace/aro communities. For instance, in the 2020 Ace Community Survey of over 13,000 respondents, about 41.5% of people who identified as asexual also said they were on the aromantic spectrum (acecommunitysurvey.org). (That survey also reported that 15–17% of non-asexual people nonetheless identified as aromantic.) Another survey of aromantic individuals found a majority of respondents did not think of themselves as part of asexuality.

Smaller studies similarly suggest only a few percent of people are aromantic. A 2019 community survey reported about 4% of respondents identified as aromantic, but that survey mostly reached ace/aro communities rather than a random public sample. (Because it wasn’t a general population study, the true percentage in the whole population is likely lower.) The bottom line from experts is that we simply do not have enough data. Most research has been done within LGBTQ+ networks or online communities (which can over-represent aromantic identities), and general surveys rarely ask about romantic orientation at all.

In summary, aromanticism is relatively uncommon and hard to measure precisely. Early evidence suggests it’s on the order of a few percent at most of the population, often less in broad samples. Scholars emphasize that more representative studies are needed. As one recent review noted, aromantic people mostly remain under-studied and future research must clarify their experiences and needs.

Limitations of the data: Keep in mind that existing numbers come from convenience samples (online, LGBTQ+ communities, surveys of asexual people, etc.) rather than randomized population studies. People also may not recognize or report aromantic feelings unless they learn about the term. For these reasons, any figure like “1%” or “4%” should be taken with caution. It’s safer to say “definitely less than 5%, probably well under 2%,” until broader research is done.

Living as an Aromantic Person

Being aromantic simply means your relationships don’t center on romance in the usual way. Aromantic people can still have deep, loving relationships and lead rich social lives. Often close friends, family members, or even pets provide the emotional intimacy that romantics seek in partners. Many aromantic people also form committed bonds that aren’t based on conventional romance. For example, some find “queerplatonic” or companion relationships where two people live together, support each other financially or emotionally, and maybe even marry, without romantic or sexual elements. In fact, surveys of aromantic people show that while most remain single by choice, a significant fraction (around 10–15%) do report being in committed relationships. These partnerships might involve marriage or co-parenting, but are built on friendship-like intimacy rather than “being in love.”

Aromantic individuals often stress that they are not cold or emotionless. They do experience love — just in non-romantic forms such as deep friendship, familial love, or community bonds. A common misconception is that aromantics “just can’t love” or are detached. In reality, aromantics simply direct their capacity for connection into other kinds of relationships. As one expert noted, aromantic people usually get all the love they need from friends, family, pets, and other sources, so romance isn’t missing from their lives.

It’s also key to know that identities can evolve. Someone who identifies as aromantic now is free to explore romance later if they begin to feel that way, and vice versa. Labels like “aromantic,” “demiromantic,” or “gray-romantic” just give language to experiences – they don’t lock anyone’s future in place. The aromantic community encourages each person to define what relationships look like for them.

Finally, aromanticism is not a disorder or problem – it’s just part of human diversity. In an amatonormative society (one that assumes everyone wants a romantic partner), aromantic people may face ignorance or stigma. But as awareness grows, aromantic individuals find community and often feel empowered by having a word for their experience. Today there are support groups, online forums, and pride flags (green-white-gray-black stripes) celebrating aromantic identity.

Prevalence and Research (Summary)

• Rough population estimates: Broadly speaking, very few percent of people are aromantic. Some sources suggest around 1% in the total population (similar to asexuality) (rcsgd.sa.ucsb.edu). A college LGBTQ+ center notes ace/aro identities together are ~1% overall, up to 4% of younger people. Surveys focused on ace/aro communities yield higher rates, but those are not random samples.

• Overlap with asexuality: Among asexual people, a substantial minority are aromantic. For example, 41.5% of respondents in a 2020 asexual community survey reported being on the aromantic spectrum. But the majority of aromantic people are not asexual.

• Research findings: A recent international study (N=1642 aromantic individuals) confirmed aromanticism is a broad spectrum. It emphasized that aromantic people want to be recognized as a distinct group, not just as “asexual without sex”. That study (Fowler et al., 2024) called for much more research on aromantic identity, experiences, and wellbeing.

• Data limitations: Almost all current data come from online or community-based surveys (often via social media or LGBTQ+ sites) rather than random sampling of the general public. This likely skews results upward (since aromantics are more likely to see and take those surveys) or downward (if people don’t self-identify as aromantic until they learn about it). In short, any percentage figure is a rough estimate. Experts caution that we cannot yet say exactly what fraction of the world is aromantic without better studies.