By Kelly McDonnell-Arnold
Sure, sex is an immensely physical act, and when it comes to energy in its purest form, the act offers us a powerful connection from our bodies, straight to the divine. And when we tap into this power deliberately, it can be a fantastic pathway for our healing and spiritual growth.
To take full advantage of the spiritual benefits of sex, we need to dance with it in a less physical way. When we experience sex in the present moment, we experience the truth as it really is — as a soul agreement and connection that we can tap into anytime.
Sure, sex can get a rap for being called life-altering or mind-blowing — and we can embody that feeling in our hearts.
If you’ve been enjoying the pleasure of intimacy and sex solely in the physical form — that’s great! Now you can go a little deeper and begin to push your divine boundaries (within your comfort zone of course) and take your entire sensual experience to new levels.
Stepping into our sensual, divine selves during sex means having complete awareness of our being right now in the moment. And even if you’re flying solo on this divine sexual adventure, you can practice everything we talk about here too.
Here are 6 ways to savor more sacred sex, anytime:
1. Surrender into your sacred (sexual) energy
Surrender your growing list of to-do’s, your overthinking mind, and any hang-ups that might keep you from fully enjoying the experience. When you surrender your thoughts you can step into being fully present as completely as possible. During orgasm, allow yourself to soften into the ecstasy and become one with your partner(s).
2. Trust that every one is a divine being
You were put here on this planet for a reason. Just like your fingerprints are unique, so are you and your sexual expression. At times, we might resist our own sensuality or engaging in sexual activity because it shows us our vulnerabilities. Common mind chatter may include, “Does my partner like me? Do I look good? Am I doing this right? Am I taking too long? Am I excited enough? Too excited? Oh, what was that sound?”
Remember your partner is divine too. Even if they annoyed you earlier in the day with a less than charming habit, embrace sex as a means to worship your partner and a sacred representation of the divine. You’ll get what you give in the partner devotion department. By holding this highest image of your partner, you’ll love them into their most immeasurable self.
3. Set the sacred scene
Engage your senses and create a space where your divine expression can thrive. Think luxe bedding, relaxing music, a spritz of a sensual-scented spray on the pillows, incense, rose petals or lighting some candles.
4. Prepare your body
Spend just a few extra minutes lingering in the shower, lathering up with the fancy soap, and even smoothing your body with silky oils. Then spend a minute or two on your appearance — styling your hair and slipping into clothing and jewelry that feels special. These rituals help prepare your body and mind for what’s to come.
5. Settle in slowly
If you’re with a partner, settle into your space when you’re ready. Join your third eyes together, taking six deep inhales and exhales. You can even take turns rubbing oils on one another. Placing oil on each other’s crown (top of the head), third eye (between the eyebrows), heart space (center of the chest), and genitals (no explanation needed here — haha). Practice spending time locking eyes and settling into deep eye contact. However you settle in, enjoy and savor every feeling during this experience.
6. Draw the energy in during orgasm
When you climax, feel your body release and at the same time, bring that sensation into your heart. Imagine you and your partner(s) are joined together in the physical and in the spiritual sense.
And when you’re done. Wind down slowly. Taking your time to share thoughts with each other on what kinds of feelings and sensations came up for you both. And if it didn’t feel like the earth moved for either of you or only one of you — keep practicing. This is absolutely one area of your lives where practice will make it better — and you can enjoy it every stroke, grab, and touch of the way.
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About Author: Kelly McDonnell-Arnold MA. MBA. RSW. is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist with a Master’s degree in Forensic Sexology and a sought after expert and personality in the field of human sexuality.
Art by @mikagauthier