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What Is Anorgasmia And How To Overcome It – 2021 Guide


We talk about anorgasmia to describe the inability or difficulty to reach climax in a frequent manner. Some women, while they engage in sexual intercourse, and even though they can feel sexually stimulated, can’t seem to reach the finish line. This is what is being referred to as anorgasmia.

Let’s first get this out of the way, orgasms do not always equal a satisfying sexual experience. As long as you feel satisfied with your current sexual life, you do not need to worry about anorgasmia. But if you’ve been trying to reach climax for a long time, and still can’t after many years, you might have been suffering from that condition.

We should also state that people can climax through different means. For example, it can be experienced through penetrative sex, as well as direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Your mileage may vary on that. And this all differs according to your age, medicine you might be taking, and a whole lot of other factors, like stress. Some women also suffer from vaginismus or clitoral atrophy, which make having orgasms a lot harder due to relentless feelings of pain. Read the article on Biird for more information.

What Are The Symptoms?


When you orgasm, you experience a strong release of energy, due to muscular contraction of the pelvic region. The level of intensity one will feel is inherently different according to your body, and that’s completely normal. Some women might scream of pleasure, while some may be more quiet about it, that’s nothing to be concerned about.

The only time you need to be concerned is when you haven’t been able to ever climax, or if you haven’t orgasmed for a long time. We talk about lifelong anorgasmia when you’ve never had an orgasm in your life. Acquired anorgasmia means that your orgasm frequency has declined over time. Situational anorgasmia means that you can only climax under certain circumstances, such as with the same partner, or with the same pleasure products. Finally, generalized anorgasmia is a persistent state where you’re not able to orgasm in a given situation.

What Could Cause Anorgasmia?


The following physical causes are to be blamed for anorgasmia:

  • Suffering from specific diseases like Parkinson or Sclerosis
  • Some gynecological problems, including hysterectomy or cancer treatment
  • Over-the-counter medications, antipsychotic drugs, antidepressants or antihistamines
  • Drinking too much alcohol and smoking too much
  • Any changes to your body due to aging
  • Menopause

The following psychological causes can also explain anorgasmia:

  • Depression/Anxiety or any other mental health issues
  • Body self-consciousness
  • History of sexual abuse
  • Stress

Some Further Causes

Some other issues could explain that you’re not able to reach an orgasm. We can list domestic abuse as the main cause, or the fact that you’re not happy with your relationship. Knowledge of infidelity could also be another reason for it.

How To Get a Diagnosis


If you think you’re suffering from anorgasmia, one further step you could take is to get your doctor’s (or gynecologist) opinion. Don’t be ashamed to give them all the necessary information, even if you judge some of them too embarrassing to talk about. They will probably ask about your relationship history, your orgasm frequency and several other details.

You could then be asked by your doctor to undertake several physical tests, as a way to identify if there’s anything wrong with your body, and if the issue is not only a psychological one. Some medical treatments could involve hormone therapies to treat anorgasmia.

How To Treat Anorgasmia


Know Your Erogenous Zones

Understanding your sexual preferences and body needs is the main key to avoid suffering from anorgasmia. If you feel that traditional penetrative sex with your partner is becoming the issue, try changing your habits by introducing a pleasure product in the mix. This way, you’ll be more aware of which of your erogenous zones work the best for you, as different people have different ones that can trigger strong responses. This will help you understand where you’d like to be touched and how.

Clit For The Win

Penetrative sex is more often than not enough to trigger orgasms. You should maybe focus on your clitoral area, and see if it brings you any good results. One way to work on that is with the help of a clitoral stimulator, otherwise known as clit sucker, which is a small pleasure object that uses a nozzle to generate pressure waves directly on your clitoris, stimulating all the hidden nerves it contains. Women who use clit suckers are known to climax in a very short time.

Get The Help of Sex Therapists

It’s always good to ask the opinion of a specialist, and that also stands when it comes to anorgasmia. A sex therapist is likely to guide you towards the reasons and the solutions to treat your problem, as they specialize in sex education. They can make you understand your body better, and get you to work on your behavior and communication skills when it comes to your sexual life.

Hormonal Therapy

Anorgasmia can sometimes appear post-menopause, as hormonal changes limit your estrogen production. Going through hormonal therapy can help restore your estrogen levels, and therefore increasing your orgasms altogether. This treatment can include pills to take, vaginal creams to apply and more.

To Sum Up


You don’t really need orgasms to live a fulfilling sexual life. However, if that lack of orgasms becomes a problem you need to tackle, know that there’s various solutions for you to try. Whether it’d be through sex therapy, medical treatment, or even the use of a clitoral stimulator, you’ll be able to let your body speak freely and reach that state you’ve been longing for so long.

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